Everything is ZaDr
by cupidity11
Summary: Just some random drabbles. Silly arguments, sex sometimes, their own version of romance.
1. A Little Bit Worried

**Summary:**

 **'we're both fucked up and it works'**

* * *

The dust motes fell and his room was stuffy. Dib knew he should get up and open a window but, that would require moving. Something that he wasn't sure was possible right now. The blood had dried several hours ago but, it still hurt. He licked his lips and tasted it there too.

Dib thought about the reason behind his current state of injury. They'd been hunting something. A wiccan who had betrayed her sisters, who had used her magic for evil. And Zim had gotten in the way, he'd been stupid and reckless like always. Dib knew the witch could easily kill the idiot. She was powerful.

And instead of being smart, instead of throwing something at her or using a spell against her, he'd thrown himself in front of Zim and ended up broken and bleeding. He remembered spots of colors in front of his eyes and the irken's shocked face, he distant calls for help from the other wiccans.

Dib remembered Zim doing something weird; of six, shaking claws holding his face in his hands. And just before Dib blacked out he remembered the word 'please'. In English, in irken whispered over and over again.

He groaned as the door to his room opened. Zim walked in, looking pale and fearful. He was mumbling to himself but, as he saw Dib his expression changed to relief. "You. You're alive." That relief was quickly replaced by anger, as he rushed to the bed and clutched at the boy's bloody shirt.

"Wh-what happened?" Dib wondered, through a mouth that felt filled with cotton.

"That stupid witch cursed you to bleed from every orifice. But, a few of those other ones came and saved you or something. But, you lost a lot of blood. It was everywhere, Dib." The human tried to swallowed but failed. Mouth so dry. Zim's uniform was caked with blood. His blood.

"Oh." No wonder he felt so stiff and dizzy. Zim's claws were still clutching his tshirt. Dib looked up at the irken and saw the haunted fear in his eyes. Zim had never done well with blood. But, he'd stayed beside him despite that. A warmth filled his chest and how sick was that?

"Thanks…" Dib sniffed, raising a hand that felt too heavy from his side and place it over the alien's.

That seemed to shake Zim from his position. His eyes narrowed and he pulled away, wrapping his arms around himself unconsciously. "Yeah. Well. Don't do it again. It was gross."

"I will try not to ever bleed again." He replied sarcastically.

"Yeah." Zim said distantly, obviously not getting the sarcasm. Dib didn't think that irkens understood what it was. "Good."

Dib sighed and sat up, slowly, instantly getting a roaring headache that had been lying in wait. He groaned and shut his eyes. Two hands shoved him back down and ran over him anxiously. Dib looked up to see Zim, eyes wide with fear, breathing heavily. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Zim. It's just a he—"

"The witches said you might randomly start bleeding again. Do you _feel_ like you might start bleeding again?"

"No. It's just a hea-"

"Because if you do, I might have to kill you or go get them again."

"Zim! Calm down." He reached up and grabbed the alien's head. "I'm _fine_. It's just a headache. You're freaking out."

Zim froze at the touch, realizing he really was kind of freaking out and blinked a few times before shaking himself. "No, I'm not. Silly. I'm just a bit concerned about this whole bleeding from every orifice thing. It's kind of bad."

Dib let his hands drop to his side. "I know. I'm fine now though. You can relax." He watched as Zim tried to calm himself down, wringing his hands and looking quite anxious. He would have a panic attack if Dib let this go on. Odds are he already had had one while Dib was unconscious.

Despite the horrible headache, Dib sat up again and grunted, reaching out towards Zim.

"Hey. Come here, genius."

Zim looked over at the human, who was still covered in blood despite his best efforts to clean some of it off of him, and then down at his own shaky hands. Silly. He turned on his heel and wobbled towards Dib, falling into his outstretched arms. Zim blankly stared at the bloody, ambivalent emote on his tshirt and reached up to curl his claws into the fabric.

Dib wrapped his arms around the alien and sighed at how much he was shivering. "You did good. You saved me…and…" He laid his chin on his irken's head. He wanted to say something else. Something that he'd been trying to say for nearly a year now.

 _'I love you. You're pathetic and stupid and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with the urge to bash your head in with a blunt object but, I never do because I look over and remember that this war between us is over and instead I end up kissing you. You say you sometimes feel the same way but, I trust you despite all of that. I trust you to have my back and to never do anything right. I trust you to fuck up on a daily basis and to defend me against all odds. I know I would die without you and I want to die because of you and for you.'_

"I…we're both fucked up." Dib said as a substitute. "And it works."


	2. Burning the System

**Summary:**

 **I just wanted you to fuck me but, then I got greedy , I wanted you to love me.**

* * *

Despite what almost everyone in the universe thought, Irkens weren't incapable of sex. Yes, they'd deemed it mostly un-necessary and were even taught fairly young that it wasn't something they should do. It invited useless emotions and sensations but, the taller irkens, the richer and the more curious ones had no problem experimenting. But, the ones under 16 ligas were too busy yanno, dying or serving the empire to think about sex much less have it.

And since Zim was about 14 ligas and kind of an asshat no one wanted to experiment with him. And he'd never even paid attention in class the day it was taught. But, humans were much more…blatant about it. Some considered it shameful or sacred. Others treated it like it was a good time, something casual. But, despite the slight curiosity Zim could've cared less and was slightly repulsed by the whole subject.

Or at least he had been. But, that was several years ago.

Dib frantically removed his shirt, throwing it to the side, somewhere, wherever, and planted another powerful kiss on Zim that left his knees shaking. The irken was loathe to let the human escape again, even to remove another item of clothing and desperately tried to keep contact, to keep the sensations. Dib breathed a laugh, used to Zim's almost needy enjoyment of the kisses. It was like he was addicted. The human let it go on for a couple minutes; breathing into each other, lips parting and colliding, a slip of the tounge here, a nip that almost cut skin here and he could hear his heart beat in his ears.

Zim would be more than happy to just let the kissing happen, over and over and over for a million years (or for however long it took to destroy the earth) but, then Dib pulled away. The irken whimpered a bit pathetically. It transformed into a breathy huff when the human removed his tunic and undershirt. So impatient today. Understandable though. It'd been nearly a week since things had gotten them mad enough to do this.

Zim panted and ran his hands over the human's bare chest, noting the various scars and freckles. They told such stories. Dib's chest held the history of his life on it, the hours spent in the sun, the injuries sustained fighting him.

The human reached around and grabbed the irken's rump and pulled them together so they rubbed in all the right places. A moan escaped from both of them. The kissing started again, with more rigor. Zim hissed and clawed at his mate's skull, grabbing him to keep him near to fuse their mouths together.

And every time they parted even a breaths away he wanted more, needed more of that stupid taste, those horrid lips.

Mindlessly they rutted against each other until someone got the bright idea (probably Dib) to rid themselves of their trousers. Kicked them away, basked in skin against skin. The paranormal investigator slid his hands down till they were under Zim's knees and he lifted the irken, backing them both up until they hit a wall.

Dib pulled away to bite and suck at the alien's neck and said alien whined and whimpered, forgetting his pride and his superiority, as blunt teeth toyed with his collar bone. He felt them, felt their bodies so close together, slick and eager. So close and the Dib was toying with him. His toes curled and he blurrily scolded his lover.

 _Hurry up!_

 _Patience, idiot._

 _Don't call me that._

 _But, it's true._

Finally, they were connected. Dib slid inside the irken, listening for that – _hitch_ \- in Zim's breath as he did so. The irken complied without knowing and it sent waves of satisfaction down the investigator's spine.

They fucked. It was raw. It was nails digging into skin and beads of sweat. Between curse words and shouts of mercy towards higher powers, it was mind numbing, multi-color inducing sex. It was familiar to Zim, now. Something they did well together besides fighting and destroying their mutual enemies. The wall shook and so did the very foundation of their relationship.

Zim lost himself in sensations and that was terrifying and liberating. He would never know that that was why the taller irkens did it, why even though sex wasn't necessary anymore it was still done. It was something besides anger, something that the pak could not regulate.

Dib loved to listen to the noises his irken made, every squeak and hiss though near the end all he could hear was his own heart in his ears. They didn't come together but it was pretty damn close. The irken came first, shaking violently and feeling the universe tear into a thousand pieces as he reached between them and pumped himself (the only time he ever touched himself). Those pieces remained fluttering into emptiness as his human reached his own climax, pressing his face into Zim's shoulder to muffle his throaty cries.

The pieces of the unverse settled as Dib lowered them to the ground of…Zim's base, yes of course. The laboratory, where they spent most of their time. The floor was cold. The Dib pulled away and shakily leaned against the wall next to the irken, breathing finally settling.

Zim's own breath rose and fell in time to the beating of his spooch. He glanced over at the male who stared out at nothing, flushed and covered in teeth marks. The pieces of the universe had settled into this; into Zim scooting closer, just a little bit, towards Dib so that the cold wasn't so bad. He remembered the first time they had done this.

Awkward and rushed. It'd been like pulling the pin on a grenade, but watching it in slow motion. It'd been over in ten minutes but, they did everything deliberately. Zim wanted it. Dib wanted it. And they'd fucked in the human's bedroom not once, but twice. Then they'd spent another two hours talking about it and then arguing and Zim had stormed out, forgetting his gloves.

He'd been curious and though the idea had been abhorrent to Zim (videos didn't help) there'd been a heat burning in his system that arose every time the human was near. Who better to experiment on than the Dib? Who had been hesitant but knew something that the alien didn't (that they were far beyond enemies, slipping past the point of friends and he'd been having the most fucked up dreams).

It was an agreement of sorts, one that wasn't really spoken of. But, it just happened. Like a ticking time bomb. Inevitable with no defusing it.

Zim stretched and gave up, flopping onto the human's body, who in return wrapped a single arm around the alien's waist. The action sent a kind of noxious flutter up into Zim's chest. He smiled and touched Dib's arm, sliding a finger up his wrist and across to his elbow, noting the little birthmark and blue veins that slowly dissipated into the mist of fair skin.

The smile faded as he touched a scar and remembered putting it there with these same claws that now caressed the spot. It wasn't that Zim regretted doing it; they'd been enemies then and it had been a life or death situation. But, somehow the burst of smug satisfaction from its presence was drowned in appreciation for the tiny freckle on Dib's wrist bone.

That was bad. That was something that needed thinking about. He needed to consider the possibility that this whole sex thing had gone too far, corrupted him to human passion and, and…The Dib pressed his lips against the top of Zim's head, between his antenna, gently parting his lips. It was like a kiss but, wasn't.

That wasn't fair. This was horrible. He needed to think, to get away from Dib and figure out when fucking turned to…something more? Zim turned around to tell the human that the boy needed to get out of his base but, then he fell right into the bliss of amber eyes, stained a thousand different colors. He'd seen those eyes on rainy days, sunny days, with snowflakes stuck on the eyelashes, when they were dark with rage and passion or wet with unwilling tears. He'd seen them blood shot from lack of sleep and dancing with joy or mischief. He saw them now and they were soft with some un-nameable emotion that he'd yet to discern but, he would.

Zim would.


	3. A Birthday

Nine planets. Well, eight now. And there wasn't a human alive who had ever seen past Mars. No human, with the exception of Dib who had his face pressed against the protective screen of the Voot Cruiser, looking at the crystal, gaseous rings of Saturn. Saturn! He'd spent years tracking it through a telescope and dreaming of one day seeing it in person and now here he was! Here it was!

Gigantic, huge in comparison to Earth. 150 moons surrounding its girth.

"The rings were discovered by Galileo himself." He whispered in awe. His heart was beating too loud in his chest and he didn't notice the irken's annoyed glare as Dib smudged up the window. "This is incredible!" He had a giant manic smile on his face, amber eyes taking in every detail they could.

"Yes, yes. It's okay, I suppose." Zim replied, looking up from where he'd been picking a piece of lint off his uniform to the swirling planet below and then back at the human. The human who was 19 now.

Such a tiny number and yet in only a few years the Dib had grown and morphed. His facial features were a bit more angular. He was very tall with muscles that had filled out. It was truly horrible.

Zim hadn't changed at all. He was just as short. Just as skinny and bony. His antenna twitched, as Dib continued to rant and rave, spouting off fact after fact. He was talking with his hands, gesturing and his eyes were bright with excitement.

Zim scowled and pushed away a hand that had nearly gotten him in the face. "Will you calm down, Dib-thing. It's merely a planet. There are billions of them out there." It was cramped. The Voot was really only suited for one pilot. Dib was pressed against him despite both of their best efforts. He was hot and cold and irritated.

But, this had been his idea. For the Dib. It had been the only thing he could think of to do.

"Easy for you to say. You've seen hundreds of them I bet." Dib didn't want to go into how humans had never really gotten outside of their own Galaxy. It was just more fodder for arguments. "Besides, this is the reason why we're out here right? So you could 'scout the planets'?" He narrowed his eyes. Bright, terrible, clever eyes. "Kind of weird if you ask me, Space-boy. How have you been here all these years and not done this already?"

Oh. Yeah. He'd lied. Easier that way. Or it had been. Zim shrugged, a noncommittal sound escaping him. Dib was even more suspicious now. Well, actually he had an idea why there were here. Figured it had nothing to do with scouting and more with a kind of peace offering, a extended sort of 'hey we're friends/enemies/allies/something and I'm acknowledging that this day is slightly special'.

Dib looked closely at the little bug for a few more seconds, seeing if he would crack before looking back out at the spinning planet. He could've called it many things; Cool, nice, romantic. He could've said many things; this is awesome, you're cool for doing this, thanks. But, none of that came to mind let alone left his mouth.

"Uranus, next? " Dib tried to wipe away some of the smudges he'd made in his excitement. A little embarrassed but, hardly ever going to admit it. Zim sniffed and watched the boy struggle, trying to shift so they weren't touching as much but only making it so there was friction on their sides and legs and he grit his teeth.

"Human, what about stars? And nebulas? And planets with actual creatures and places on them?" Dib was too excited to really notice how being so close bothered Zim, or maybe it was because after all this time a bit of touching between the two of them wasn't so odd. The human bit his bottom lip and looked away from where he'd been drawn to the spinning rings again back to his alien companion.

"Those are far away though?"

Zim scoffed and his fingers flew over the controls. "Dib-filth, have you forgotten the Moose incident?" Dib raised an eyebrow.

"Which one?"

"The room! With the moose?!"

Dib laughed quietly, inwardly shuddering as all the memories flooded back to him. "Oh. THAT moose incident. Yeah, I remember. Where you tried to send all my whole class to a dimension with a moose eating walnuts."

"Precisely." He was still proud of that plan.

"What about it?" Dib asked, in case Zim had forgotten what they were talking about which he was wont to do.

"I was getting to that. Worm holes." He pulled up a large map, scattered with little red dots where known, safe wormholes were found. The human leaned forward and felt his breath catch in his throat.

"We can use them to travel anywhere."

"YES." Zim hissed, pleased that the human has managed to wrap his tiny brain around it. "Anywhere in all the universe, Dib-stink. Think of the possibilities." He clenched his fists and felt himself getting excited too. He had always loved exploring. Had been on board an explorer crew for a while in his youth.

He looked over at the human who seemed to be sharing that excitement, their eyes met.

It had happened a hundred times before, when their expressions and emotions matched up. But, this time it was a tiny bit different. Maybe because they were touching so much, maybe because Saturn was glowing and illuminating Zim's features in such a way that he looked like a dangerous insect.

Maybe it was because Zim was aware of how young the human was and just how short his life was. Whatever it was, their faces were way too close. This was reckless and stupid but, there was a thousand stars surrounding them, a gateway to a billion new adventures and Dib kissed an alien. He kissed Zim. Zim kissed back, unsure, confused and angry.

It was awkward with lots of teeth and neither of them really knew what they hell they were doing but it happened. It happened and there was no going back.


	4. Disconnection

**Summary:**

 **I could start fires with what I feel for you…**

* * *

Zim was confused, it was not an emotion that he liked. He much preferred to be angry or joyful in his own villainy. But, ever since the Dib's 19th birthday he'd plunged ever further into the muddled headache of whatever was between them.

But, he was content to allow the touches, both soft against his cheekbones or violently gripping his forearms in anger. He was fine with how nothing had really changed between them most of the time except for when the waves crashed over them and they hung on only by instinct to each other, desperately grasping and gasping for air, between drowning kisses.

Those kisses were still so new and he often found himself unable to return them, a sense of taboo overcoming his desire. And other times he couldn't stop himself from grabbing his human's big head and wringing kiss after kiss after kiss, each one sending shivers of something to his toes in an addicting manner that left him whimpering, with Dib caught between laughter and annoyance. He found himself okay with how quickly their fights, brutal and packed full of hideous insults and sometimes physical aggression, could switch to tender caresses and whispered ' _you're not so bad'_ or ' _we're okay'._

Zim was okay with the physical reminders that they were no longer enemies (though he often denied himself the truth because it would drive him mad), but the human had a way with words that more often than not was the true source of his confusion. They were both vocal, that's why they argued so much. But, the Dib even outmatched him when it came to ranting. But, that wasn't like this at all. This wasn't opinionated yelling. It was softly murmured words against Zim's lips or his forehead.

' _I could start fires with what I feel for you…'_ Dib had said once between a heated argument and an equally as heated make out session. The sweat had beaded on the boy's forehead and his eyebrows were furrowed. The confusion grew.

 _'I can't get your voice out of my head and that's annoying as fuck because your voice is horrible._ ' Dib stared up at the ceiling, at the glowing moon and star stickers he'd put there when he was younger. Zim head's against the wall, legs on the boy's chest. The evening breeze blew through the open window where he'd crawled through it over two hours ago and his eyes narrowed in incomprehension. His voice was amazing.

 _'What if…'_ Zim watched the human's throat work, as he swallowed. He looked away down at the machine he was fiddling with, so he didn't see the amber eyes darken with emotion or the look that crossed his face (a mix of horror and need) at his own words. ' _what if we were meant to be? As enemies, friends…this? What are the odds that you would come to my little town on the entire planet and to my school, to my classroom…? What else can it be…it has to be fate.'_

Zim had no idea what fate was. Or what the human was babbling about now because as of late those words had been falling out of his mouth in increasing level of confusion and each one left Zim reeling. He felt the urge to question just what Dib was going on about now but at the same time he wasn't sure if he could really deal with what he had to say.

So, instead Zim kept quiet and let the human talk, focusing on other things. Like how if he listened close enough to the chest pressed against his back he could feel the steady rhythm of a fragile human heart.


	5. Himerous and Eros

A thousand questions and each one wanted answering.

This truce was official now and Dib was going to take advantage of it by getting every single thing he'd ever wondered about the alien answered. He looked across the space, across his room, and watched Zim watch his hands.

Dib felt that familiar stirring in his gut. A mix of anger and lust. Of annoyance and tolerance. So confusing and yet he felt himself drawn closer and closer to the source.

Emotions had always been hard to find. He'd felt ambivalent for much of his life. Investigating the paranormal was about the only thing that made him feel alive. And Zim was pretty mysterious and alien and Dib hated how captivated by the little menace he was.

They sat together on his bed. Dib was the one looking at his hands now. Nail bitten. Long fingers. A freckle here. One there. A scar there. A bigger one here.

He looked up when he felt the mattress shift and was face to face with his nemesis. No. His ally. His partner. His, dare he even think, friend? He'd never really had a friend before. Zim was very close and Dib suddenly remembered that little pit of forbidden want in his stomach.

This wasn't new. Things like this had happened before and it always began and ended the same.

Zim leaned forward, eyes hungry and face flushed. Dib watched it happen, his lids heavy and knew he should stop it.

Afterwards all there would be was regret and guilt and they would fight.

Sharp little teeth on his bottom lip. Then they would make up and say it would never happen again.

Small fast kisses,desperate.

But it would. He knew it. Maybe Zim didn't.

The little alien was already breathing heavy, already shifting to climb on top, to surround him.

Their mouths, at first shut and chaste in their collisions, were now open and too greedy, taking and taking.

When this had started neither knew how to kiss. So, they'd learned together and it led to this. Serpentine tongue wrapping around a flat one, too much teeth, too fast and then too slow.

A manageable burn as chemical reactions happened between their bodies. Fully clothed and yet it felt too intimate, so wrong and so right.

It was hard to breathe so they shared their air.

Ten human digits grabbed Zim's bony hips and held him, not confining but guiding. His legs slid through the teenager's longer ones and they fit together so perfectly. The sun was going down, bathing the boy's dark room in an orange glow. Everything was painted gold and it felt surreal. A dream. Dust motes drifted.

The world moved on outside as Dib gave into himself and jerked his hips upward. It was the only way to relieve the ache. He was ashamed because he wanted this so badly, wanted Zim so badly it was stupid.

Delicious friction and a noise spilled from Zim's lips. It was a noise he would never admit to making. Tingles spilled down his spine, a knot in his gut and the sounds the human was making were enough to coerce him into responding. He dug his claws into the dark blue sheets and rocked his own hips, back into the human, trembling with the sensation.

Even now he was confused about how he could feel so volatile.

It was a blur, noisy and too hot as they pressed against each other. They rocked their bodies together searching for something. Hands trailed under clothes but they never came off because they both knew this was all they could handle or else someone would combust (or they'd take it too far because this thing between them was too young).

All thoughts of earth, of Irk melted in the friction of hips. Zim wasn't sure what it was that compelled him to wrap himself around the human but he did it. He clutched onto his enemy, his friend for dear life, legs around the other's waist.

This was lewd and too intimate and felt so good that every thought that might've caused either one of them to back out or change their mind was a messy blur of colors and panting.

Dib ground himself up onto Zim, sweat on his forehead. The alien had no idea what he was feeling only that it was amazing.

It overloaded his systems and felt so good, therefor it wasn't bad and was something he should keep doing. And if the sounds his human were making were any indication, Dib liked it too.

But, even still he leaned down and pressed his lips against the boy's ear, tongue flicking out for a second before he hissed, "This is…good, yes? You're…"

Dib groaned and opened his eyes, unaware that they had even shut. "What?"

"You're okay?" Zim asked, distracted by how dark the human's eyes were.

"What? Yes. Yes I'm fine." He swallowed, throat suddenly dry. "What about you?"

Zim's claws curled deeper into dark blue fabric and he nodded, biting his bottom lip. He wanted to be pressed flush against the human again, to kiss him and utterly destroy him.

Dib searched the alien's expression and leaned up the few inches until their mouths met again.


	6. What to do when You're in Love

**Summary:**

 **what to do when you're in love with someone:**

 **-dig a grave**

 **-lie down in it**

 **-get comfortable in the dirt**

 **-die**

* * *

They pretty much realized they loved each other at the same time, although they handled it in very different ways. Zim, who had spent over a hundred years, not knowing what love was, felt confused but since the implications weren't something he was altogether familiar with, he pretty much just went along with it and spent his precious energy doing more important things like giving chickens robot implants or creating new and improved paste mixtures.

Because, he'd been over emotional around Dib ever since they met. All these new levels weren't anything he couldn't handle. The only issue was the hard, clenching pain in his chest whenever his partner smiled or laughed (a rare occurrence). Other than that, Zim had no reason to be at all perturbed.

Dib on the other, messy, hand felt his entire world screech to a stop. In love? With his best and worst enemy? Infatuated with the moron who lived down the street? Who came from another planet? A ugly, stupid, gross, loud…idiot…made his heart jump, his pulse skitter, unfamiliar laughter rise in his chest, in the same breathe as he caused exasperation and disgust and dread.

Dib figured he might as well dig his own grave now. Just go out into his backyard and create a nice little hole for himself and wait for death. What else could he do? It wasn't like they had a real future or even a present that wasn't accompanied with uncertainty. This had never been part of the plan. Dib ran a hand through his hair, swallowing back bitter laughter that tasted like bile.

A short, tight beep came from his pocket. Dib pulled out his cellphone and his heart lept so stupidly at the name on the screen; Space-Boy. He knew the alien would receive his return text with the name, Drool Face.

 **'robotic chicken transplant unsuccessful so far'**

Dib rolled his eyes.

 _'No surprise there. I told you it wouldn't work.'_

The little envelope told him his message had sent. He made himself put the phone down and not wait too eagerly for the repons—the device beeped and it was back in his hands in less than a millisecond.

 **'so far. I will get it eventually do not doubt me** '

Dib typed his answer out, quickly.

' _Sure, sure. And one day maybe people won't make big head jokes about me.'_

 **'never gonna happen'**

 _'Exactly.'_

 **'what?'**

Dib smirked, a rush of affection mingled so sweetly with the annoyance.

 _'Nothing. '_ His fingers lingered over the send button for a second. Dib bit his lip. And then kept typing. _'Do you need any help?'_

 **'no of course not'**

Dib raised an eyebrow and waited a few seconds. As predicted, another text soon accompanied the first.

 **'but come over anyway.'**

He snapped his phone shut and jumped up from his bed, pulling on his coat and boots before scampering out the front door, anticipation and dread ran through his blood. They would talk. About this whole stupid thing. And maybe, just maybe…he wouldn't need to dig a Dib-sized hole.

 _'I'll think about it._ ' He texted back, as he shut the front door behind him.


	7. Things you said while holding my hand

"I'm...afraid." Dib admitted.

Zim looked at their intertwined fingers. So odd, odd finger numbers, odd contrasting colors, odd how his were clawed and Dib's were not. Odd how the same fear Dib admitted to was both because of and assuaged by the way they were connected.

He tore his gaze from their hands and looked up at the human's face. Dark brown and deep rings of purple under tired eyes. Lightly freckled, angular and everything Zim found good about this earth.

"Why?" Zim asked, wondering if maybe Dib had an explanation. Not just for their hands but, for all of...this. All of them.

The human, whose pulse Zim could feel in his thumb, shook his head. Dark amber eyes, ringed by white. Pinpointed precision. And they had burned through him before, his lies and any denial.

Dib was good at that, weeding out the truth and of reassuring him that he was alright that he wasn't...fake or defective. That he was Zim and he was good simply because he lived. That he no longer needed to serve an empire that felt nothing for him. And Dib was there when the denial rose up to take him under, when a hundred years of brainwashing and unthinking loyalty grasped him by the ankles and dragged him under again.

Dib faced things like monsters and ghosts, blood thirsty demons...without flinching or showing any sign of true fear and yet... he was afraid?

"Aren't you?" Dib wondered, voice a touch too high. It gave away his nervousness. Zim felt the human's grip tighten and returned the pressure. He wasn't sure how hand holding was supposed to go. Irkens rarely did it purposelessly.

"Zim is...I mean, I am. Scared. but, I don't know why." Zim looked away, and realized he'd forgotten that they were in his living room. It was still new, admitting to true emotions. Especially ones that he usually considered weak.

Dib swallowed and nodded. "It's...it's alright though," and there he went again. being all encouraging and validating. "We can feel that together...I think that it's because this is new...this thing between us, and I don't know how to handle this or my emotions or the next step? I don't even know what the next step even is. Or...if you even want to go to, uh, the next step?"

Zim felt confusion and his brow furrowed. The Dib was saying so much that didn't make any sense to him. Human things. But, they were important. Zim knew that because Dib was looking away, because he was flushed slightly and their hands were sweaty and Zim was faintly disgusted and yet, didn't move to pull away.

His confusion must've shown visibly as Dib nonchalantly eyed Zim for his reaction because he sighed and deflated a bit. "Look...is this... I mean, are you alright with _this_?" On 'this' he gestured towards their hands, between them, around them. Zim swallowed and felt his spooch do that awful thing where it jumped and compressed with so many mixed emotions.

" I...yes." He cleared his throat. "A-are...?" He wanted to ask the Dib if _HE_ was okay with this. The human was obviously so nervous, flushed and he'd said he was afraid. But, what if he asked and Dib said 'no'? and it was an excuse to pull away? Zim fought with his selfishness.

Dib watched him struggle internally for a few seconds before sighing again and smiling in that small, gentle way that Zim associated with so many warm memories. "Yeah. I'm fine with it."

And the relief he felt was completely ridiculous. "Good. I mean-"

Dib laughed quietly and ran his thumb over the alien's smooth skin. "Good."


End file.
